blefelbf3019

3:1/2 and 1/2 + 1:1/2 and 1/4 and 1/4

2005-09-16T12:34:00.000-07:00

buttonnosedLui
doeeyedC

curlytop lena
flattop saia

Saia (1&1/2 is half American Half Japanese. Lena (2) is half Irish half Japanese. MommyC (7) is half Portuguese half Spanish. Lui (2)is half Japanese, quarter Italian, quarter Cypriot.

2005-09-10T14:11:00.000-07:00

grab-a-sushi
chic sake pourer
UP AS 4thflr.

2005-09-03T08:58:00.000-07:00

mirror image skylark
bushido cat
eerie UPFC&kiddycat

do no harm

2005-09-03T08:53:00.000-07:00

remembering Ninoy

2005-08-20T23:36:00.000-07:00

Makikisaling-pusa ako dito sa idea ni Karen ng Pilgrim's Pots and Pans (Hi Karen!) at Stef (Hi Stef!) ng Stefoodie kahit na hindi naman ako totoong food blogista. Medyo may pagka samut sari itong narrative ko pero sana ok lang hehehe...sensya na po.

Noon pag weekends nasa probinsya kami sa bahay ng lola ko sa father side. Walang mintis yon every weekend, kasi about 2 hrs. drive lang from Manila. Masaya lagi dahil sama sama lahat at ang daming prutas at kakanin na puro home-made gawa ng mga kamag-anak at mga lola lola. May bibingka, suman, sapin-sapin, kalamay pinipig, biko, ginataan bilo-bilo, alfajores(? ginataang lugaw-malagkit na may toasted munggo). Basta lahat ng klase ng kakanin nakakain ko noon at may masarap na tsaa na nilagang dahon ng avocado (yes, dahon ng avocado, masarap!).

August 20 (1983), Sabado ng umaga nakahanda na kami lahat para umalis pero kulang ng isa. Yun pala hindi daw sasama yung kuya ko dahil may gagawin daw siya, so umalis na kami na hindi siya kasama. Pagbalik namin ng kinabukasan na Linggo ng hapon, ang daming tao sa bahay namin. Mga kaibigan ng kuya ko na karamihan ay mga aktibista ng UP, kasama dun si L.Alejan yung na-assassinate na student leader nung early to mid 80s na ka batch/barkada nila sa UPEcon. Pupunta daw silang MIA para sumalubong kay Ninoy at nagmi-meeting muna sandali at nilalagyan ng maiinom na tubig yung mga dala nilang bote/thermos.
May uwi kaming sapin-sapin at saka biko noon para ipamigay sa ilang kapitbahay, pero pinakain na lang ng tatay ko doon sa mga kasama ng kuya ko dahil mga mukang gutom. Ayaw pa sanang kumain dahil mga mahiyain at nagmamadali nang umalis pero kumain din, sino ba naman ang makakatanggi sa amoy ng latik at langka sa sapin-sapin na nasa bilao at nababalot ng dahon ng saging.

Ni hindi ko alam kung sino si Ninoy noon, naman eh malay ko ba, ang alam ko lang gawin noon e magbasa ng Greek Mythology, makinig ng Beatles, at mag daydream na boyfriend ko si Christopher Reeve na feeling ko ako si Lois Lane at may background music na 'Can you read my mind' habang lumilipad kami sa may Empire State.

Tapos buong magdamag ng bukas ang TV namin noon at inaabangan ang news tungkol kay Ninoy at Galman.

I-fast forward natin sa 1986, February.

Nung People Power I at napabalitang nag-green light si Fabian Ver na huwag santuhin at barilin daw yung iilan-ilan pang ralyista sa may Crame, nanawagan na sa radyo si Cardinal Sin at sinabing magpunta na ang mga tao sa Edsa para sumuporta sa mga anti-Marcos demonstrators. Ayun, doon na ako nakisawsaw, kasi alam ko na kung anong nangyayari at maliwanag na sa akin dahil college na ako noon at kahit papaano eh may social awareness ng matatawag. Gusto ko ring pumunta sa Edsa pero ayaw naman akong isama ng kuya ko dahil istorbo lang daw ako, ayaw rin naman akong payagan ng tatay ko na pumunta at baka maapakan lang daw ako ng mga tao, eh makulit talaga ako at gustong makisali kaya nag-isip ako ng magagawa. "Pagkain" ! kailangan ng pagkain dahil magugutom yung mga civilians at mga madre na pumipigil at nakabara dun sa gates ng Crame para hindi mailabas yung mga cannons.

Sabi nung ate ko magbe-bake daw siya ng cookies at dalhin daw namin sa Edsa para may "snack" yung mga nagvi-vigil. Sabi ko naman eh 'bat cookies pa di naman nakakabusog yon at saka ilan lang ang mapapakain natin konti lang di ba? Sandwiches na lang mas mabuti pa. Punta kami ng grocery at bumili kami ng ilang large jars ng Ludy's Peanut Butter at sangkatutak na "Tasty". Gawa kami ng sandwiches, siguro mga 500pcs din yung nagawa namin. Inilagay namin sa kotse at umalis na kami papuntang Edsa. Ang dami ng tao at di na kami maka abante pagdating sa may Boni. Gumawa ako ng sign sa cardboard na "FOOD" at inilagay namin sa windshield, ayun nakalusot din kami sa dami ng tao. Ang saya saya noon,parang isang malaking party.

Wala akong Ludy's Peanut Butter para sa sandwich kaya biko na lang na walang latik, pero masarap din na kombinasyon pala ang pimiento cheeswhiz at plain biko.

Sa mga nababasa ko sa mga on-line news na nangyayari sa bansa natin ngayon, parang sobra na ang sakit ng kahirapan na isinisisi sa kagagawan ng mga pulitikong nagmamaniobra doon, marahil totoo, marahil hindi, at marahil ay isa sa mga dahilan ay malalim na ugat ng nakalipas na nangyari sa Pilipinas noon na hindi mabitaw bitawan hanggang ngayon. Pero sa gitna ng lahat ng ito may pag-asa pa rin ang bansa natin at tayong mga Pilipino.

Remember the story of Pandora's box? amid all the social maladies in our country,corruptions and toxicities in some of our people's minds and rampageous swines (oops..) in our pitiful government, there is HOPE. Hope is good at dapat nasa atin parati ito.

***///***///***///***///***///***///***///***///***///***///***

Sabi ni Ms. Karenkeng itranslate ko daw sa Eigo kaya eto, madalian lang para makahabol bukas Laban Day; pasensya na lang po.
---------------------------------------------------------------

I didn’t even know who Ninoy was. It was the early 80s and I was oblivious to anything, much more to anything political due to the fact that I had just hit puberty then and all I cared about were my Greek Mythology books, Beatles, and my imaginings that Christopher Reeve/Superman was my boyfriend.

August 21 was a Sunday. My family had just got back from our weekend visit to my fraternal grandmother in the province, a 2 hour-drive from our house in Quezon City. We were surprised at the door because our house was full of young people, about 20 of them all in their late teens and early 20s. Most of them were my brother’s (who didn’t join us on our trip) friends and fellow activists who were there to have some sort of a meeting before they proceed to the airport to welcome the coming home of Ninoy. My brother, who is several years older than me, was a member of all sorts of anti-Marcos movements in UP at the time. He was also a friend and batch mate of L.Alejan, a student leader and political activist during the Marcos era.

My father said they looked hungry so he told them to eat the biko and sapin sapin my grandmother and grandaunts had made which we brought with us, meant to be given to the neighbors and to my parent’s friends. They refused to eat them, I thought they were just shy, but a few moments later, because of the unbearably tempting aroma of the jackfruit and latik toppings of the goodies wrapped in banana leaves that permeated through our living room, they gave in. They were really hungry.

Our TV was on the whole night as we watched the lifeless bodies of Ninoy and Rolando Galman being carried and plunked in to a waiting van at the tarmac.

Let’s fast-forward it to 1986.

People Power Edsa I

General Fabian Ver had green lighted Marcos’order that any one who would get in the way would be shot dead. Because of this Jaime Cardinal Sin called on and appealed to civilians, thru the Radio Veritas, to troop to Edsa and be vigilant and support the then only hundred others consisted mainly of students, nuns and seminarians who had formed a human chain to block the gates of Crame so the loyalist soldiers wouldn’t be able to take out the cannons.

I wanted to go. I wanted very much to be a part of it because I was already in college and no longer the silly juvenile daydreamer me (well…no longer juvenile but still dreamy and silly). But my brother wouldn’t take me along, “istorbo ka lang”, he would say. My father wouldn’t let me go either and ordered me to just stay home and watch it on TV. I had to think of something, a reason, for me to be there and be counted as part of that important moment in history. So I thought of bringing food. I told my older sister about my plan and she suggested that she would bake cookies, lots of cookies. I said no, cookies were no good because they’re not filling enough, and it’s going to be more expensive. I said we should make something easy and quick like sandwiches. After too much convincing and kulitan, our mom yielded to the idea and gave us money. We hurried to the nearest grocery and bought several large jars of Ludy’s Peanut Butter and loaves and loaves of “Tasty” (a brand name of bread). We made about 500 peanut butter sandwiches, loaded them in to the car and drove to Edsa. By the time we got to Boni Ave. we couldn’t proceed anymore because there were so many people blocking all the corners and streets and it was almost impossible for any vehicle to get through. I wrote the word “FOOD” on a piece of cardboard and stuck it on the windshield so people would see it and let us pass through.

A big party, that was what Edsa I looked like.

Two days later, Marcos was removed from the Philippine soil.

I don’t have Ludy’s peanut butter now to make sandwiches with so I just made biko without the latik but I found out Cheese Whiz is a good topping.

Having been away from our country for a little less than twenty years now has made me appreciate and love it more than ever before. I regularly read the online news about the Philippines and 90 % of the time I see nothing but misery. Poverty and hopelessness, that most of our countrymen blame on our unprincipled politicians and leaders; maybe they really are to blame, maybe they are not. Maybe we ought to blame ourselves as well and the deep-rooted problems from our past that until this point in time we still have been unable to shake off and free our system of. I don’t really know. But what I do know is we shouldn’t lose our faith and that we should continue to believe that we have great capabilities to change for the better.

Remember the story of Pandora’s box? Amid all the social maladies in our country, corruptions and toxicities in some of our people’s minds, and the rampageous swines in our pitiful government, there is HOPE. And hope is good, which should be in all of us always.

tagtag

2005-08-19T23:39:00.000-07:00

The Parisian wild fox tagged me

20 years ago

I was still in college. On the verge of derangement doing comparative studies of French, Spanish, Japanese, Ibatan, and Bahasa Indonesia’s grammatical structures. But having a great time exploring the unexplored parts of the UP campus with Trufa and Ole.

15 years ago

I was living in California, still on the verge of derangement but worse than 20 years ago because of the pressure of grad school. Got arrested for over speeding and for this I was sentenced to do a community service: as an usher/minutes taker/snack giver in AA and Alanon meetings once a week for 16 consecutive weeks.

10 years ago

I met Luiji; shifted my focus to photography; ditched grad school and went backpacking in Europe for 3 months; got hitched and moved to Japan.

5 years ago

My sister died.

3 years ago

I climbed Mt. Olympus.

Last year

I started blogging

Yesterday

I ate and finished one huge bag of potato chips in one sitting.

Last night

I dreamed that a big mean ostrich was devouring my student’s 6 year-old kid (very disturbing and could be interpreted as if something sinister is afoot, but then again sometimes a cigar is just a cigar).

Today

I tripped on my flamenco skirt while practicing the Fandango and now I have a nasty scratch on my left elbow because it hit my teacher’s guitar case when I fell and landed on its rough edges.

Tomorrow

I’m going to Costco (I dislike going to Costco) with a bunch of big breasted women from Texas who, of all the very interesting things and places that Japan can offer in terms of sightseeing, wanted to be taken to and shown around Costco!?!

Next Year

I am going to see the Aurora Borealis and the Machu Pichu

5-10 years from now

I have not the foggiest

*****************************************

I'm tagging 5 imaginary friends

Artoo Ditoo
Dr. Silvi E.
Bobby
Tominaga san
Medusa

.
go tag yourself, my prrecious ...

PS

following in Just mind people case don't tagging I'm them, tagging the me them:

1) Jun aka "the original anonymous"

2) Karen ng Kapatagan aka "the co-host of Lasang Pinoy"

3) Badaday aka "Scanns Diwata ng Liwasan"

4) Matilda aka "the Maldita anak ni Banana"

5) Manongtek aka "the singer Kuya Joey"

PPS
di po compulsory, kung sinisipag lang po kayo.

HOPE - there is always hope

2004-10-12T23:21:00.000-07:00

It was the topic of our discussion the other day. At first, my students were sort of adamant and had not shown any interest in discussing it but when I blurted out that whoever knew about the story of pandora's box would get extra 20 points. Or, whoever could guess what the story is about would get the extra merit. Two knew.

A woman named Pandora, which means "all gifted", for all of the Immortals helped to endow her, was given a golden box by Zeus. She was made to swear not to open it for Zeus had put inside the box all the misfortune and ills that would beset mankind - diseases, wars, sorrows, pestilence, hate, hunger, and a hundred others. But one day, she couldn't contain her curiosity, crept quietly to the golden casket and lifted the lid. And thence the world became in possession of all sorts of sufferings that we have today (there were none before curious Pandory had let them out).
Terrified at what she had done, Pandora slammed down the lid. But a little voice cried: 'Let me out too! I am hope!' And so, Pandora let her out too. Prometheus, a mortal-friendly Titan had placed Hope in the box so that mankind has something to hang on to and to alleviate the suffering even just a little.

Hope is good, I like Hope.

kwentong UP

2004-10-06T01:01:00.000-07:00

Nung huling semestre ko sa UP nakumbinsi ko rin ang tatay ko na patirahin ako sa dorm, para akong nakawala sa bilibid fortress, gabi-gabi basta walang ulap at hindi maulan at walang exams nanduon ako sa UP observatory sa likod ng Sampa dorm at nakatingala sa langit at pinagmamasdan ang mga bituin at planeta. Pinangarap ko pa noon na maka-discover ng kometa kaso di ganoon ka-powerful ang telescope ng UP kaya di ako nakahanap hehehe. Pero ang mas na-aalala ko ay yung mga kawirduhan na ginagawa naming tatlo nila Daday at Cacofonix. Kami yung tipong walang pakialam sa mundo noon, hindi nila ako ka-batch dahil mas una sila sa akin pero ewan ko kung bakit at paano ba kami talaga pinagtagpo ng hanging habagat. Ang tambayan naming tatlo noon ay laging sa FC, kaibigan naming lahat ang mga tao doon except yung mga professors; malapit kami sa mga janitors, custodians, messengers, tindera ng banana-q, tindero ng fishballs at isne (kinoyn ko ang word na ito: pinaghalong mais at mane = isne) na paborito naming isnak. At dahil kaibigan nga namin yung mga janitors, may access kami sa conference hall, minsan ino-on namin yung aircon at doon kami walang ilaw syempre baka mabuking kami ng mga authorities e sipain kami palabas kaya binubuksan na lang namin ang isang bintana para meron kaming liwanag. Si Daday nagdadala ng lambanog na super sarap dahil aged at nilalagyan ng tatay niya ng raisins at chopped apples yata, ninenenok niya sa cellar ng tatay niya. FC ang tambayan namin kasi lagi naming inaabangan yung mga crush namin na professors at lecturers. Pinapadalhan namin sila ng anonymous love letters at pasikretong itina-tack sa pintuan ng cubicles nila, sabay takbo pag may taong padating. Yung mga nabibiktima naman namin syempre eh nai-intrigue, sumasagot lagi dun sa love letters at mukhang nag-eenjoy talaga at laging parang nag-eexpect ng updates at kasunod, ang banidad nga naman :)mga nerdy kasi. Mahilig rin kaming maglakad around academic oval lalo na pag dapit hapon na, pinapanood namin ang paglubog ng araw sa pinupwestuhan namin sa steps ng Quezon Hall. Tapos isang araw, nagka-idea kami na akyatin namin ang tuktok ng Quezon Hall (Admi. bldg.), syempre bawal, pero nung nalingat yung gwardiya sinalisihan namin at libre kaming naka-akyat. Ang sarap sa itaas ng Quezon Hall kasi kita buong Diliman tapos puro puno at greeneries pa ang paligid. Doon kami nagkakantahan at nagkukwentuhan ng kung anu-anong maisipan namin while lying down on the concrete beam that connects its pillars. Doon kami minsan nagpapalipas ng maghapon talking about our dreams and aspirations and other mundane and silly things, and believe me there's nothing like it. Iba kasi ang perspective pag nasa mataas na lugar, parang you feel so free and detached and powerful because you are above many things, like some sort of escape (hohum)pati hangin mas sariwa ng konti. Naakyat din namin ni Daday ang attic ng Main Library (wala si Cacofonix noon at may sipon yata), ang daming lumang magazines na from mga 1920's pa, readers digests, liwayway, comic books, old sculptures and art paraphernalias, portraits of statesmen, literary greats, volumes upon volumes of old books, at ang pinakapaborito ko sa lahat: books of Severino Reyes na Mga Kwento ni Lola Basyang, at mga lumang makinilya. Grabe rin ang alikabok, and the smell, my goodness, the smell, musty and old but not offensive, I guess the operative word to depict the moment is 'whimsical'. It was like travelling back in time. Ganoon siguro ang amoy nung 1920's, 30's, and 40's. Hanggang attic lang kami dahil naka-lock ang pinto palabas kaya di kami nakapunta sa mismong tuktok nung building .

Napagkasunduan din naming tatlo na from Monday to Thursday cheap ang kakainin naming lunch: rice at isang maliit na bb-q at isang damukal na atsara (libre kasi atsara), o kaya monay na ti-noast na ini-slather-an ng ketchup, hot sauce, asin at paminta (o parang pizza di ba?), at kung anu ano pang mura. Ok, ngayon pagdating ng Friday marami kaming pera dahil four days kaming nagtipid eh; kakain naman kami ngayon sa mamahaling restaurant, full course ha, minsan nga sa mga hotels pa eh. Ganun ang gawain namin noon. Minsan may ibang kakilala na sumasama sa amin di kasi maiiwasan, nagpo-potluck naman kami sa UP lagoon may dala pa kaming radio casette at naka tune-in sa MELLOW TOUCH or mga oldies sa DZMB. Isang beses nga sa Wild Life Park pa, kinakanta pa namin yung mga kanta ni Sampaguita, hehehe.

Yung dalawa, siguro nabwisit na sa math at para maiba naman at magkaroon ng diversion nag-enroll at sumama sa isang klase ko sa advanced linguistics (language and context), at dahil advanced nga yung course tatlo lang kami sa klase at doon sa office nung prof. kinu-conduct yung class, sa associate dean's office ng college of social science dahil associate dean yung prof. puro kahihiyan ang inabot ko dahil nirekomenda ko sila dun sa prof. at tinanggap naman sila ng taos puso sa klase pero yun pala tutulugan lang, sa harap pa mismo nung prof. ha habang nagle-lecture at pinag-uusapan namin si Descartes at Chomsky. Kahit ilan beses ko ng sipa-sipain sa paa at sundutin ng dulo ng payong sa tagiliran ayaw pa rin magising nung dalawa, mamatay-matay ako sa kahihiyan dun sa prof. patay-mali na lang yung kawawang professor. Pero ang talagang pinag-enjoy-an namin na klase ay yung creative writing course ni Prof. Sikat. Nagsulat kami ng mga maikling kwento tapos diniscuss namin sa klase, super enjoy kami doon. Yun namang kwento sa speech class, ganito nangyari don: magkapartner kami ni daday gumawa ng report at dahil interesado na rin ako sa mental illness noon pa sinuggest ko sa kanya na mag-interview kami ng isang borderline luka-luka, pumayag naman si daday. ang problema walang time pumunta sa mental, eh nagkataon nandun naman si cacofonix, so sabi ko si cacofonix na lang interbyuhin namin ililibre na lang namin ng royal true orange at hi-ro choco cookies pagkatapos. pumayag naman si cacofonix ang venue doon sa isang sulok sa econ. bldg. naka-tape pa nga yung interview eh, very convincing na luka-luka si cacofonix, ang galing mag-digress at mag- off tangent at mag halu-halo ng sagot sa mga tanong. convincing enough na nakakuha kami ni daday ng 2.25 na grade sa speech, mahirap pa kausapin yung teacher na si Josie and the Pussycats pero binigyan kami ng 2.25 happy na rin kami ni daday.

Tapos nung huling semester na nung dalawa medyo nagkawatak-watak na kami kasi medyo intense na kailangan yung focus sa academic dahil pa-gradweyt na sila. Dumalang na kaming magkita-kita pero kahit paano nagkikita-kita pa rin. Palagi na akong nag-iisa nung last semester pero naging barkada ko naman si tito Ding (Hi tito Ding! hope you're having a great time up there in heaven, or wherever :) , isang prof. sa History na super bait at naging tataytatayan ko, at si Lorraine, at si Bobby T. and the brilliant (the late) Silvino Epistola na hingian ko ng pisong pamasahe sa ikot jeep. Hanggang matapos ko na rin yung course ko at mapatapon na 'ko sa Estados Amerika para sa grad school. Ahh memories....

me-Zen mode

2004-09-14T10:33:00.000-07:00

Yes I've been in the Zen mode lately; after attending a series of his forums and lectures at Sophia University and some other places, my mind seems to be in a state of semi nirvana. He talked mostly about death, life, compassion, existence, ethics, and most things in terms of philosophy of the mind. Very illuminating and I'm glad I signed up even if the fee was a real kill, it was all worth it.

I sometimes bring up the topic of death to my students (high school seniors) but they always manage to avoid it. I'm not sure if it is because they detect instantaneous boredom or it is a collective fear of the subject matter. The concept of death has nothing about morbidity, this I've been trying to tell my students but they're still not convinced. But now I know what to do and thanks to that lecture series.

"If you are aware that death can come any moment, then it is important to bear in mind that it is a part of life, and in remembering death then you become more ethical"

"The best time to prepare for death is not when you're dying because it may be too late. It is better to do it when you're happy and peaceful and more introspective"

IMPERMANENCE -- the changes that keep life alive; it teaches us to let go of our attachment and perversion. It makes us realize the basis of ethical living and the real meaning of happiness. If there is absence of hatred and malice in your heart then you are a happy person.

COMPASSION -- is to see others as we see ourselves in a particular unfavorable situation ie. suffering, helplessness, pain , extreme desperation, etc. Try to look at the person as another you.

- Sogyal Rinpoche

of men and cats

2004-09-02T23:57:00.000-07:00

Biking to the nearest grocery this morning to get some provisions, this was on my way:

a stray calico cat
disoriented
by hunger wandering
on a pile of putrid
leaves of camellias;
ten meters away
a man in his 60's ....
sameness.

I reckon there's homelessness in every part of the world even in rich countries and Japan is no exception. I had lived in New York and Los Angeles for several years and I had also witnessed the same thing but it's different in Japan. Homeless men wandering in the parks and sometimes streets don't panhandle, there are some who would gladly accept if you gave them some spare change and there are also those who would feel insulted and curse you and tell you to go to hell. While others are genuinely wallowing in total destitution, some are not, sometimes they just seem to have lost their bearings for a while and the capacity to keep up with the world and only longing to find a little temporary mental release from reality - and that is by wandering the streets.

WINGS

2004-09-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

i can fly

This is a poem by the late Czech poet Miroslav Holub - it' s one of my favorite poems and one of the few that I know by heart:

We have
a map of the universe
for microbes,
we have
a map of a microbe
for the universe.
We have a Grand Master of chess
made of electr0nic circuits.
But above all
we have the ability to sort peas, to cup water in our
hands, to seek the right screw under the sofa
for hours.
This gives us wings.

Fuji san and Breast Cancer

2004-07-20T00:04:00.000-07:00

five years ago, at the ripe old age of 39, my older sister died of lung complications due to breast cancer that had metastasized. her death was the first real pain that i had ever experienced; i didn't know how to deal with the fact that she is never coming back and i would never see her again. i thought to my self that i had to do something to forget about the pain even for a little while (six months would have passed and i would still be suddenly crying even in the train, in my class, or in the middle of a task), something that would help diminish the sadness of the thoughts of her being gone. something seemingly more overpowering than my pain, so i thought of climbing fuji san. in my mind, though it may have sounded a bit arrogant, if i could conquer a mountain then maybe i would be able to conquer my pain. fuji san is shaped like a breast, thus making it even more symbolical.

fuji san is japan's highest mountain and not easy to climb, it's an inactive volcano composed mainly of basalt, gravel and dark sand, and towards the top, sticky red mud-like earth good for pottery. three quarters of its body from above the base upward to its peak is devoid of existence of any plants or animals, not a single shade to screen you from the scorching sun of summer. but when you're on it you can get a magnificent view of the other mountains that surround it. the clouds look three dimensional against the blue sky and have an 'optical illusion' effect as if within your reach, as if you can touch or grab a handful of it. they change their form very quickly too that sure will amuse you like you are a child again. i couldn't help thanking God at that moment i was there for His beautiful creations laid out in front of me before my very eyes. and when the night falls , the sky is so breathtaking, just like the ocean after the sunset, nothing but darkness and borders on the frightening and the mysterious. but once the thick clouds that loom give way, you could see an infinity of heavenly bodies: shooting stars, planets, the milky way, the moon, and every thing/one else that shines up there.

in the past 4 years i had had 3 attempts to climb fuji san, each time of which prevented either by a dismal weather or a mild illness on my part, or my husband's sometimes erratic work schedule.
3 days ago we climbed it! but we didn't reach the summit (again, same fate as Mt. Olympus) [*see July 26 Archive if it doesn't work] because of sandstorm. we reached only up til the 8th station (a total of 9 plus a few more meters to the summit/crater). very strenuos but it's worth every bit of it, it took us 9 hours from the 5th station (climbers usually start here; it's a 2 1/2 hours bus ride from tokyo or shinjuku) with 15 minutes rest every 2 hrs. mt. olympus was a walk in the park compared to fuji san, we only needed enough provisions and warm clothing for the former, but for the latter we needed a whole lot: a staff, head flashlight, gloves to protect your hands from sharp rock edges as there are times that you have to move slowly on all fours, rain coat (for squall or sand storm), portable oxygen tank (in canister the size of a small thermos), and lots of drinking water so you don't get dehydrated. upon reaching station 8 at 9PM, the plan was to have dinner, sleep and wake up at 3AM and continue the ascent to make it to the summit just in time for the sunrise which was to happen at 5:43. we had curried rice for dinner, edible enough; we were also given ahead one small styrofoam box each of sticky japanese rice with azuki beans and some pickles for breakfast. we stayed the night in the sleeping quarters at station 8. it's like a military barracks sans beds, about 30 people sleeping side by side in musty beat-up futons and serried in a constricted rectangular space, we were packed like sardines literally. the toilet was hideous, an outhouse with a killer smell no toilet paper or running water - this to protect the mountain daw. and so came 3AM, everybody was up and with regained strength ready to complete the ascent. but the guides told us we couldn't proceed anymore, too dangerous, the sandstorm was too strong and blinding. we were advised to start descending instead, and we did when safe enough at around 6AM . it took us about 31/2 hours going down to the 5th station. we're back home by 2PM tired and dizzy.

i slept the whole day yesterday and am not tired anymore and my knees no longer feel bockety. i want to go back there and climb again and reach fuji san's summit, and i will. next year then. for my ate E.

We climb them because they are there

2004-07-16T00:07:00.000-07:00

Last year in late April we climbed Mt. Olympus in Greece, it had been a long time obsession of mine (since High School) to set foot on that mountain. I’m not an avid mountaineer or a professional mountain climber or anything of sort, it’s just that I like mountains. I like looking at them and I climb those that I know would be possible for me to climb without the use of any special gears or undertaking proper training and climbing techniques. For one thing, Mt. Olympus is not so difficult to climb; it is verdant and the pathways are fairly easy to trail. If the weather is cooperative and Zeus likes you, it can be hiked in just one day. There are several refuges where you can get a short respite or even spend the night should you decide to stay until the next morning and catch the spectacular view of the early sunrise over the Aegean.

The day was sunny and the air crisp, we stuffed some choco bars, grapes, baguette bread, beef jerky, and bottled ice tea into our backpacks. The kind elderly lady in our hotel gestured to me that I needed warmer clothing over the flimsy cotton sweater that I had on, and she was right of course.
April and May are spring months in Greece and still chilly, naturally there is still snow on the Mt. Olympus’ summit, after all it’s the county’s highest peak. And this we didn’t realize because I thought spring was the best season to climb a mountain. Big mistake. I should have researched more about it. The police at the station in Litochoro (the village at the foot of the mountain) where we had registered for the ascent didn’t tell us that there was still thick snow enveloping some of its edges that lead to the summit and the rocks were icy and slippery thus reaching it was quite an impossible feat. I realized afterwards that they didn’t need to, because from the village square we could see it all white and frosty, idiot me, I guess that’s what excitement does to you. We climbed it anyway. 200 more meters and we would have reached the summit had it not been for the perilous icy rocks and 'still closed for the winter' Refuge A (the refuge nearest to Mytikas-its highest peak).

Mt. Olympus is not a single lone structure that stands imposingly above the ground, say, unlike Mt. Fuji which is a large mass of basalt in a shape of a cone; rather it’s a series of big chunks of verdant slopes and ranges. Maybe it's just me but looking at it from the airplane window high up above on our flight from Thessaloniki to Athens, it had seemed, to me, like a majestic white castle protruding from the clouds topping it, really quite something to behold especially from afar. There were so many varieties of trees, wild flowers, birds, bugs, and rocks and pebbles of all shapes. My penchant and romanticism for anything Greek, especially Greek myths and deities had solidified the delight that I was experiencing during our ascent. I was mesmerized by my own endless imaginings and a lot of things were playing inside my head: what if Zeus plays us by messing up the weather or sending a centaur to trick us and we lose our paths, what if Bacchus suddenly appears and offer us some inebriating food and drinks that we couldn't refuse, or we get mesmerized by Pan's flute playing and we fall asleep, freeze to death and wake up in Hades, or Pegasus taking us for a wild ride on his mighty wings? Crazy.

The experience was eventful and a great refreshment for the soul and having been in it was as whimsical as the characters inhabiting it (i'm getting so carried away now, hahaha..). This post is getting really long and tiring. I’ll continue next time. After our Fuji san ascent the day after tomorrow.

You're still you

2004-04-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

Ate E.

I dig that jazzy hairdo , groovy! it's so very 80s! Funny, your face looks always the same as if you can defy gravity nothing has changed about it. Same smooth alabaster skin, smiling eyes (sometimes they look 'crying') with long lashes, well chiseled nose that’s dainty, bushy eye brows, and full and pouty lips. Hindi bola, hindi bola Tehhehehe...

***I've always been very thankful for having someone like you around; someone to help me with my homework, do my school projects for me, have fun with with you teaching me how to do accented English (british, russian, indian, french, etc)***
But I'm most especially thankful when you didn't rat on me to mom and dad when I stole a lot of maongs and t-shirts from the tindahan because "trip kong ipamigay" to the children of street vendors and snack peddlers who had become my acquaintances on the UP campus and other homeless whom I had befriended near Katipunan market.

***I particularly miss the sight of you baking and whipping up all kinds of goodies in our kitchen in the middle of the night just because "trip mo lang" and then giving them out to orphanages and charity wards in children's hospitals. I miss the sight of you dispensing alms from your bulsikot full of one-peso coins especially prepared for every single alms-seeker who lined up the street along the Baclaran church where we would go every Wednesday morning for the early novena.***
I miss your leaving messages on my answering machine that say, "pick up the phone, it's MEEE...PICK UP!!!

I secretly detested your superfluous way, your habit of excessive spending on clothes, shoes, and other mundane things that you would buy impetuously, often ludicrously expensive, but of no sublime function except to be derivative of instant and momentary gratification. But as they say, "to each his own" so I've already learned, without much difficulty, to reconcile my mind to this kind of human behavior. Well, come to think of it, your generosity towards yourself reflects your generosity towards other people, and that is a good thing. What's my point? I don't even know. I guess, I just want to talk to you.

Six years ago today, you died. At almost the same age as I am now. Six days later, on my birthday, you were buried. Looking at it in a different perspective, it's like I'm being born while you're being buried. Life is ironically synchronous and synchronously ironic sometimes.

Happy Death Day to You. (can't really say "and many more to come!", can I? hahaha..)

And by the way, don't worry because I'm no longer angry with God for making you leave us painfully early. Just kind of help me beg him to let me be pregnant now, or SOON! because I'm getting desperate already. Just kidding... no, seriously, you're closer to Him and He can probably hear you better so pakikulit lang, please.

I would always, for some vague reason or another, find a song that I think fits every person whom I get to love and/or develop strong affinity with. And my song for you is *Melody Fair -

Who is the girl with a crying face looking at millions of signs; she knows that life is a running race; Her face shouldn't show any line. Who is the girl at the windowpane watching the rain falling down....

*I have several pockets full of my memories of you stored in my brain and there is a particular one that I constantly maintain and recall very often, as often as everyday in some months especially during gray seasons. With crystal clear clarity I can remember, I was probably 6 or 7 years old and I had just skipped my way back in to our house one day, soaking wet after a playful run in the rain, when I saw you sitting by the windowpane of the window to our living room with a towel on your lap and your face directed outside. You were holding a bag of cheez curls munching on them slowly and at the same time looking introspective with the rain. You got up when you saw me standing by the big fortune plant at the foyer, walked up to me and encased me in your readied towel. I looked at you admiringly as you helped me wipe myself dry.
Even in my then underdeveloped and puerile comprehension of things around me, I always knew you were very beautiful, within and without.

You are in my coração forever. Forever.